I would like to walk up to some guy wearing one of those Bluetooth headsets and just punch him in the face.
"Why did you do that?" He will cry from the ground.
"Because," I will shout between kicks to his abdomen, "you're not that important! [Kick] It doesn't make you look cool. [Kick] It makes you look [kick] like a pathetic loser [kick] who wants to be cool [kick], but rather than actually be cool, [kick] you try only to look cool."
If you think that this is an extreme reaction, you'll need to be around me on the next 90+ degree day when some guy says, "Hot enough for you?" That's when I will imagine elbowing him in the larynx and saying, "Painful enough for you?"
Of course, I would never really do any of these things. Notice that the first was introduced with "I would like" and the second with "I will imagine." I would also like to be payed a million dollars a year to post blogs bi-weekly. I will imagine that, if this ever happens, I will also have lost a lot of weight, toned up my muscles, and mastered the panflute (to break the Zamfir monopoly).
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