Monday, July 09, 2007

An Apology and a Reiteration

I stand rebuked and humbled by a mentor and a friend. My most recent post on Global Warming was riddled with foul language and a non sequitor reference to George Carlin's Seven Words that You Can't Say on TV (which is, by the way, a really funny bit regardless of utterly necessary foul language).

My argument is strong enough without the vulgar language, but my problem comes with trying to speak to vulgar people, for these are the only people who can believe the eco-fascist agenda.

Sure, there are plenty of smart eco-facists, and they are certainly not vulgar, but I don't think that most of them actually believe their arguments. Instead, they use the issue as a springboard to power. Look at Al Gore. If the man truly believed what he professes, then would he lead such a carbon-rich lifestyle?

I resort to foul language out of frustration. It's easy for the climate change people to demonstrate that global temperatures have risen. The problem is that the connection to human activity is hypothetical. In fact, the connection is ridiculous, since the global temperature has risen for eons, completely independent of man-made carbon emmissions.

Suppose a man was riding a bus (see how I cater to the green-folks?). Let's say that the bus is crowded with people who had been to an "All You Can Eat" special at the local Mexican restaurant.

Our hero did not eat at the Mexican restaurant, but all of his riding companions had.

Needless to say, these people have gas, and they let it out.

Just after a 350 pound Samoan dude rips a big one, our hero clutches his chest and falls to the ground.

The bus stops, and paramedics arrive, but they pronounce the man dead.

The global warming crew would say that this guy died because everyone else in the bus farted--especially that Samoan dude (who must be a metaphor for the U.S.).

However, let's look at the dead guy's history. Since he was a young boy, he had eaten four twinkies a day. He never exercised. He smoked three packs of cigarrettes a day for forty years, and he was born with a congenital heart defect.

Knowing the dead guy's past history, how do you think that he really died?

That's right. It wasn't the fart. So why do you believe Al Gore?

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous3:27 PM

    I believe it was the June 2005 issue of Popular Science where I read that the Samoan-Mexican flatulence was the most toxic and lethal in all the world (equal to the bite of a black mamba!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aristos, you are an ass. Obviously you did not read the entire article that you referenced on Snopes.com. Al Gore has purchased compact florescent bulbs for his home. And he may be using 1.21 gigawatts of electricity, but it comes from green sources like methane.(Hmm, isn't the byproduct of methane burning CO2?? Wait a minute I'm getting side-tracked) I think you owe Mr. Gore a huge apology for your insensitive remarks about his lifestyle.

    ReplyDelete

Bill of Rights