Sunday, October 08, 2006

Forward This If You Love God


This blog is entitled "What I Hate (Usually)," so this is the proper forum.

I hate those Goddamned chain-emails with a Christian message (Hell yes, I used "Goddamned" for its irony. "Hell" however, was just plain vulgarity).

So what's the real message with these poorly written pieces of trash that even the Pope would delete? If I don't forward it to all of my friends, I'm going to Hell? Is that it? If I do forward it to all of my friends (i.e. both of them), then there's a mansion reserved for me in Heaven? (This is what the last Christ-Chain-Link message implied). What kind of theological nonsense is that? When Jesus was on Calvary, did that one thief text to several of his friends that Jesus was awesome in order for Jesus to say that they will soon be together in paradise? Seriously, I'd rather blow myself up for 40 virgians than have a mansion, even if getting the mansion meant nothing more than pissing off everyone of my email contacts.

Often, these messages say, "If you love Jesus, then forward this to X number of people." What a scam. The next time that you get one of these, send a new one back to whomever sent you the original, but end it with "If you love Jesus, then sign all of your assets over to me and kill yourself with a dull butterknife." That ought to put the damn idiot in a real predicament.

3 comments:

  1. Anonymous4:55 PM

    I agree entirely.
    Except for the swear words, because, of course, I don't swear.
    =0

    In an event, if God truly considers not forwarding ridiculous messages as a sign of denying Him, I'm pretty sure that we're all screwed.
    And I'm pretty sure that whoever believes it neccesary has never opened a Bible and read more than a sentence.

    By the way, congratulations on the baby.
    If you name it Thomas Jefferson, you may not want to tell Colin.

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  2. Anonymous9:08 PM

    Exercise the delete key and get rid of the whole message. Or, if there actually is something within the message worth forwarding and reading delete the meaningless threats and send it on so the next person reading it doesn't have to delete the offensive portion.
    Do the 40 virgins apply to women and male virgins too?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you...There are few things more annoying than people using threats of Hell and dishonor to God as a means of expanding the life of a meaningless chain-letter...

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